If you are following my blog for a while, I am sure you have seen that I have not been written constantly for the last 6 months, not because I am tired of blogging or because I am too stressed with other things, but because I’ve not been feeling well. I’ve been to the GP at least 10 times, and after a lot of antibiotics, blood, urine samples and tests, they have sent me to a specialist… Yes, 6 months later, tomorrow I have two tests more and I hope soon a solution to my problem!
But I am more scared than ever, because even if all the tests that I had done since now were clear, I have something, but I have no idea what it is, so it could be something really bad or something easy and quick to treat, but the fear on my skin will not leave till I have my answer.
Are you scared of tests results too? I normally can not sleep when I have to visit the doctor or I am waiting for some test results. I have never liked visiting the doctor or hospitals, but since my mum passed away, this fear has grown really big, making me scared of everything health-related. I know that cancer is not the main illness they search when you have a pain, but is always on my mind, a soft voice in my head saying “Maybe is Cancer”… Even if my doctor said that it’s highly improbable of being the big C, I can not stop thinking about it…
Today I am sure I’ll not have many answers, because they will have to take a look at the results, but I hope they will be able to say something to me and start a treatment for my pain. Because after so many months without sleeping the full night and have pain, I really, really need to know what do I have!
Cross your fingers for me, I am going in!