Panic at Medical Centres

I’ve been terrified of visiting Doctors for a while, I think it started when I was little, that my mum instead of making me go to the doctor because I had some pain, it was kind of grounding me. Like I didn’t have enough pain and the doctor would laugh at me for my stupidity; sadly this way of thinking is still with me, I am almost 40 years and I only go to the doctor when I really can’t stand it anymore.
The problem is that now, after my mum passed away with cancer a few years ago, I not only have fear of going to the doctor of saying that I am stupid because I don’t have anything but I am terrified of what the results will say. Because in my mind everything is related to cancer, any type of pain or cough could be something bad…
I’ve been lucky that since I moved to Ireland all the doctors that visited me have been kind and nice; maybe because they all see my super scared face? I really don’t know, but for now, I always had kind words and praise for being brave enough to take the step to go and visit them.
But, let’s be honest, this doesn’t mean that I lost my fear of going to the doctor, I can’t sleep the previous nights of the visit, I don’t eat the day of the visit and I have cold sweats for hours… Is there any way to calm it down? I have to say that I tried herbal teas, relax methods, talking with friends… the fear never goes away, but at the same time, after my mum’s experience, I cannot not go to the doctor if something doesn’t feel right, I can’t put the ones that love me at the same position my mum put us; having months and months of weird symptoms and not asking for a medical check.
So, if you are like me and are scared to death of the doctor, know that you are not alone, but at the same time, be a little brave like me and go and check yourself. The symptoms you have can be nothing or something, but if you don’t check it, maybe you’ll know it too late. And believe me when I say that the people around you, the ones that love you, will never forgive you if something bad happens.

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